I have realized in my old age that it is something with most people, that whether consciously or subconsciously they refuse to stay happy in a relationship.
Lets look at a typical relationship.
Month 1 - 2 ~ Honeymoon phase ~
The new person you are with can do no wrong. You overlook any flaw. You think the sun shines out of their ass.
Every kiss is the best kiss you have ever had, every thing that comes out of their mouth is laced with gold and diamonds. They can literally do NO WRONG! People can point their flaws out to you, no matter how obvious, you don't see them. They are absolutely perfect!
Month 3 - 6 ~ Houston We Have A Problem ~
Okay, this is the phase that creeps up on you. The perfect person left the room, and Holy Shit you are with a human being?!!! Oh no! They make mistakes! They say things wrong, they have bad moods, they let you down. This is also the phase in which you start second guessing your relationship. If you have a strong foundation, and are together for the right reasons, this isn't an issue. However, if this is a rebound relationship, or, lets face it, you just were not ready, but you were lonely, this is where the shit hits the fan!
This is the stage where you see the smallest flaw and turn it into the WORST THING EVER!! "I can't deal with this anymore, he leaves his dirty clothes on the floor, I mean yeah he picks them up later in the day, but I cannot waste my time with a person that leaves dirty clothes on the floor, I will not live in a hamper, I am so done with him!!!" or "She talks really fast man, I am really starting to think she is a robot, or an alien, Oh damn, what if she decides to probe me in my sleep, or just wants to use me to make alien / human offspring? I am no science experiment, I am done man, done"
At some point people need to take responsibility for the end of a relationship instead of projecting it onto another. Also, don't make the other person feel like shit because it isn't working for you..
Try to find some contentment in what you have, unless you absolutely can't stand whats happening. Try to remember that not so long ago, you were crazy about this person.
For those of you who coast over the Houston we have a problem phase, congrats! You are very lucky indeed! You obviously got into your current relationship when you were ready, with someone you didn't just settle for, and for the right reasons. I am happy for you. Now stop gloating and tell a friend to smarten up about their current messed up circumstance.
Peace and Love
B
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