This blog of mine is named after a key period in life, The Return Of Saturn.
It is when Saturn returns to the point it was at your birth, and sort of makes you reflect on where you have been and where you are going. It is thought to be a time of great change and reflection.
When I started this Blog almost a year ago, I knew I was entering my return of Saturn, but had not yet really felt the ramifications. I didn't wake up feeling changed, or different. I was not reflecting on my life in any way.
Looking back, from my first posts, and now feeling what I do in where my life was, what it is now, and where it is going does make me realize that a great shift in my life is in fact occurring.
I am not going to tell anyone that shit is sunshine and rainbows because I am not a liar.
As a matter of fact, such a shift in life is hard, and a constant struggle. As any life change is with anyone, and everyone.
I am lucky enough to have people in my life who bring me joy, peace and harmony.
One in particular, without even knowing has brought upon the biggest internal shift of my life, motherhood not withstanding.
I honestly never knew that another adult could bring me peace and happiness. I never knew that another adult could make me feel so loved, or that I could ever love another adult with as much depth as I love my children. I never knew I could completely be myself around anyone but my children before this beautiful person came into my life.
In reflection I find how flawed I have been, and I am sure that like everyone I will continue. The past few years have been rocky for me in emotional terms, but I have learned and grown as a person because of all that I have been through. I think the biggest lesson I have learned through the turmoil of it all is how to continue to grow. I feel myself coming into my own for the first time truly.
I am not done, and don't ever expect to be, but I do know that I appreciate what I have now, and will do whatever it takes to protect it. I want this feeling I have now to last for forever.
Peace and Love,
B
