So, today's post will be about my typical morning, today is an awesome example.
Considering I blog, and coupon, and go on FB a lot, people may assume I am glued to the computer, those people would be wrong.
Let us take a look at my typical morning.
4:45 am - My four year old comes into my room to wake me up, she has had an accident, and needs a bath right away! She happens to be freaking out as if someone has stabbed her through the eyeball with a dull pencil! So I climb my tired butt out of my warm comfy bed into a freezing cold bedroom (whitecoat guy seems to like to sleep in 40 degree air as of late).
4:55 Wash four year old up, change her jammies, and beg her to go back to bed for another two hours. She agrees on the condition that I promise to make pancakes when she gets up again, at this point I would promise her the moon if that's what it took!
5:15 - Four year old finally back asleep (Thank the Gods!) Sadly, I am now awake enough to understand I need a cup of coffee, or I may die!
5:30 - Coffee brewed, cup poured, victory! Wait, that moment was short lived, the mangy mutt has not waited to go outside yet again, and guess what I now have to clean up, fuck my life!
5:35 - Go back in my room, get jealous of White coat guy slumbering peacefully, and snuggle up next to him.
6:55 - Four year old wakes me up again, oh shit I fell asleep! She tells me she needs a bath, and breakfast. I decide she needs to eat first. White coat guy grumbles and covers his head with the pillow, I know we need to leave the room quickly before he gets pissy. This is not a man you wake up!
7:00- I offer her cereal, pop tarts, yogurt, fruit cup, or toast. She tells me that she doesn't want any of them, Mommy promised pancakes (shit!). I try to explain that I am not alive enough to use a stove, and that we may die. She settles for the temporary fix of a cup of peaches. She argues trying to tell me that it is a cup of apples (which she is allergic to) and thinks I am trying to kill her. I tell her it is peaches, and I would never try to kill her. She doesn't believe me, and lets the deadly food sit.
7:30 - Four year old decides she wants to watch RENT, I tell her it isn't on the DVR anymore, and she bitches at me for twenty minutes about how she needs to sing seasons of love, and that it isn't the same without the cast as her back up, I decide I need to look into buying her the DVD for Christmas, but as much as I love the musical, do I want to hear my little girl singing the full soundtrack over and over, more than I do now?? Where did she come from!?
8:00- Finally distract the little princess with Halloween town movie. Thank you On Demand! Decide it is time to check my email and see how fast I can drink a pot of coffee.
8:15 - My couponing has begun, I am an old lady. Fuck my life. This is seriously the most exciting part of my day, like I said, fuck my life.
8:55 - My older sister calls me to talk about a money making venture we are working on, we have decisions to make, fuck, I hate making decisions. We make the decisions quickly (phew), then shoot the shit. I run the little one a bath.
9:15 - The princess decides while in the bath that she has the flu, I ask her why she thinks this and she tells me it is because she got water in her mouth and up her nose while swimming in the tub! Where does she get this shit? I tell her to stop swimming in the tub because she is scarring me. She tells me I am a wimp!
10:40 - White coat guy wakes up grouchy, damn it! I need to give that man some happy pills in his coffee or something.
10:45 - The princess is asking for lunch, I explain that is far to early and she throws herself on the floor. Today is going to be beautiful!
