Irrational Fears

Do you have completely irrational fears? 

You know the ones, those things that terrify you for absolutely no reason at all..... The could be tangible, or imaginary. 

You may have, in your own little mind come up with an excuse for your fear, but maybe you didn't. 

I have a tangible one and it is silly to everyone that knows about it. Not to me though. When I see this thing I scream, and cry and just want to hide. It feels like I have been infected by some outlandish disease that is going to kill me. 

With this fear, I can walk away and not be bothered by it again, unless I happen across this tangible thing.

Other fears of mine creep up out of nowhere and take hold of my thoughts until I feel like I am going insane. 

I try to talk to friends about it and they tell me I am being ridiculous, and to stop. I can't. 

These thoughts and feelings take hold of me, and torture me until they are proven untrue. 

Irrational? Yes, I know this, but I know I am not the only one that has such fears. 

I once had a irrational fear that something was going to go wrong during an operation I was undergoing. I just knew something was going to go wrong. Everyone told me that I was crazy, that I had had surgery before and everything was just fine those other times, why should I be thinking and acting like this now?

The doctors in the hospital were angry with me for being so convinced something was going to go wrong, the nurses told me to stop crying. The ended up sedating me to get me to stop. 

That surgery, a simple one to remove my gallbladder, a surgery that these doctors do on a regular basis, did in fact go wrong. I went into a coma. 

Come to find out, I was right in trusting my instincts. 

The doctor that ordered my pain medication ordered the nurses to give me enough for someone 3 times my size, and during surgery, I overdosed, which led to the coma. 

Ever since then I trust my instincts. No matter what anyone tells me to the contrary. 

I think everyone should trust their gut, every time. Leave it up to others to prove your gut wrong, and until then, believe what your mind is telling you. 

Yes some of my fears seem irrational to others, they have in the past and they will in the future. Until someone gives me reason to not trust my own thoughts, I will continue to. 

I suggest you all do the same. 

Peace and Love,

B