Things I Will Never Understand About Men... A List

Someone told me recently that I am like a man with female parts. Although I am slightly amused, and flattered by this, it did get me to thinking about the things that men do that I doubt I will ever understand. I know this goes the opposite way as well, but here is my list.

1. Why do men say your body is perfect, yet check out the living breathing Barbie doll that just walked by like it was a juicy steak and you have forced them to live on tofu?
2. How can they shower so quickly? Do they really get clean?
3. Why do they think it is acceptable to scratch anything they want on their body any time or place they want to?
4. Why do they open the door for you when they don't have you, and stop once you are theirs?
5. Why do they stop trying to impress us? I know I am always trying to make my man think he has the very best in a GF.
6. Why do men put so much importance on how much money they make?
7. Why are they so ashamed to cry?
8. How can they sit there blankly staring at the TV menu and yet never decide on something to watch?
9. How can they start watching a movie 3/4 of the way through?
10. Why don't they ever want anyone to see their feet?
11. How can they sleep so damn much?
12. How is it that their hearing is so selective?
13. Why is it okay for them to belch, but not for me to burp?
14. Why do they think we can always do everything?
15. Why don't they get pretty for us once in a while?
16. Why can they never talk about past relationships? Really? Come on, I know other women were a part of you life before I came along, they didn't all get abducted by aliens did they? Were you neurolized? 
17. What about martial arts is so damn fascinating? 
18. Why must they eat a shit ton of food while watching a game? I don't sit down to watch Criminal minds with a table full of junk food....
19. DVR lets you pause live TV, why do you have to wait until commercial?

Please, nobody think this is directed at any singular man. This is directed to men in general. If any men can give me the answers I seek, I would be glad to follow up. 

Peace and Love,

B