Thursday, October 6, 2011

Just Let It Pour

This posting may not interest anyone. I don't care. I am utilizing this blog to pour out the mess of thoughts in my brain. This just happens to be what has been on my mind as of late. 

Lately I have been putting a lot of thought into relationships. Now please, do not take this to me romantic or physical relationships. I am speaking of all kinds of relationships. Everyone has many, whether they acknowledge them or not is up to them. 

My feeling is that ALL relationships, regardless of how long they last, shape, change, and define you. 

Stop and think about the relationships you have, or have had. Everyone of those relationships has impacted who you are as a person. 

There are people who only lasted in my life for what now seems like a nano second, but I know they affected me. There are also people, who are still  in my life in some way or another, who at one time felt like my world. 

Friendships that you never saw ending, but in time people change, and sometimes, just grow apart. 
Life takes us in different directions Everyone of you reading this has lost a friend over time because you or they, or both changed. I have many of those. I cherish the memories, and appreciate that they changed me. 

Even our families change us. For example, when I was  growing up, I was teased by my parents and siblings for being the clumsy / ditsy one. Although I have been told differently many times in my adult life, I continue to look at myself as clumsy and not all that bright. My younger sister was always the smart one, and I am sure, that is why she is to this very day, an overachiever. The smallest things impact our lives. 

Even our past and or present significant others impact us. Unfortunately, I have had nothing but shitty relationships in the past, and I am in a small way grateful for it, because I went from being a naive girl afraid of my own shadow, to a strong woman who doesn't take shit from anyone. Another impact they had, is that I find it harder to open up about my feelings, and am far less trusting. I feel jaded by these people in my past, and hope to find a balance. 

I know that no matter how shitty any relationship ends, there was a lesson in it, and good memories along the way. Nothing is shitty 100% of the time. There is a silver lining in every situation. Maybe sometimes you have to get through the marsh to find the ocean. 

I hope everyone trudges through the marsh, and doesn't give up, because, to be honest, nothing can give you more peace and tranquility, than that first glimpse of the ocean.

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